If Things Were Different
by SparklingEyesWithACrazyMind
Summary: He'd resolved to leave her alone. She was the only one who'd ever told him 'no'
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer ok, fine, I don't own the frigging HP stuff. do you HONESTLY think I would bother typing my stuff up rather than just sending it to my editor if I was JK?**

**A/N **this _should_ be a two-shot (just so peeps know)

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If Things Were Different

She walked down the hall. Minutes past, and she just kept walking. Down one hall, and then another. Thinking, just thinking, pensive all the while. Suddenly she was pulled out of her reverie. "Wha? What… Huh?" stumbled Lily. Then she realized it was James. "Oh, hello you," she said. "I didn't see you there."

"Hm? Oh. Yeah. Well….ummm… yeah."

"Well, see you around."

"Right," replied James

"Bye!"

_

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Crud she's gorgeous James thought, __why don't you just ask her out? For old times' sake? No, I can't that's what she hated most about me. Just let her go James, just let her go._ James thought,

* * *

As Lily started walking away, her mind strayed to how this year was different from last. Her whole life at Hogwarts, Lily had always been shunned by the majority of the school. Sure, she had her tight knit circle of friends, but they were few. However, this year, thing were different. People were actually talking to her, they acknowledged her existence. This change was one of the most welcome things that had ever happened to her. Also, James had stopped pestering her all the time and considering every day that he didn't ask Lily Evans out as a day wasted. Thank goodness for that.

Finally everyone else seemed to be settling down. It felt so good to have a whole bunch of friends as well as her close ones too. No more looking in from the outside and wishing she was part of it all.

"Wait!" she thought, "I **_never_** wanted to be part of 'it all.' I just wanted them to be my friends. Yeah, that's it."

That night, after she'd finished rounds, Lily clambered through the portrait hole into the Gryffindor Common Room. She collapsed on the armchair nearest the fire, and draped her legs over an arm with a sigh. "Finally some peace!" She sat there staring into the fire. She grabbed her book off the table where she'd left it earlier, and started to read.

James woke up. His stomach growled menacingly. "Fine! Kitchen it is." He threw on his invisibility cloak, and snuck down the stairs and into the common room. There he saw her. Sitting in a chair by the dieing fire. Reading, just reading. He stood there watching her, wondering. Wondering why she turned him down all those times he asked her out. She was the one and only that had ever done that. Why? was the constant question that battered his mind. He sat down on the boys' staircase and just sat there, watching her.

Eventually, Lily shut her book with a yawn, conjured up a blanket, curled up in the chair, and fell asleep.

James still sat there watching her. Soon enough he went back up to the boys' dormitory, his hunger long forgotten.

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A week later, James's stomach woke him once again. And, once again, he grabbed his invisibility cloak and made his way down to the common room. He went out the portrait hole and down to the kitchens. There, two house-elves served him a waffle with fresh strawberries and whipped cream. Satisfied, James returned to the common room. He was about to ascend the boys' staircase, why he did a double-take. There was Lily. Reading as before, and as before, James just stayed there until she went up to bed.

Night after night James would come downstairs to watch Lily from underneath the Invisibility Cloak. Each night, Lily would tiptoe downstairs and sit in her favorite chair. Sometimes she'd read; sometimes she'd just sit there, staring into the fire, deep in though; sometimes she'd even start dancing around the common room like a little girl, twirling, and leaping, and humming to herself.

James would sit there each night until the either went up to bed or fell asleep in the common room. When she fell sleep, he'd still sit there watching her. Astounded by this side of her that he'd never seen. The girl who didn't yell or scream at him to "Go away!" This peaceful girl, the quiet side of the fighter he knew only too well.

After this ritual had been going on for a month, James finally lost his nerve.

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A/N I'm sorry this is so short, I have half of the next chapter written, but figured I might as well get this one up. The other chapter will be up soon (this should only have two chapters, but if people want more after the next one, all you need do is say the word)


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N so, yeah, this has taken FOREVER. The reasons being a) really bad writers' block, and b) the half of this chapter I had written, I decided that I didn't like after all, so I had to rethink this whole scene and how it was going to work (this was hard to do w/school, hw, and HORRID STUPID writers' block. Ok, just so peeps know, there is NO PETER PETTIGREW in this story.**

If Things Were Different

Part Two

"Hi Remus!" said Lily Evans.

"Hey Lils. Can we talk?"

"Sure."

"Alone?"

"uhhh…ok… where?"

"Outside?"

"kay then"

The pair walked in silence to the front doors of Hogwarts, then down to the lake, and around to the far side. Suddenly Remus turned to Lily and looked her straight in the eye.

"ok Lily. Please hear me out. I need to say this, for the sake of all the Mauraders."

"I'll listen Remus."

"Right then. Lily, have you noticed how James has been, well, different this year?"

"Yeah, sort of. He's not asking me out every other day."

"Umm.. well.. that's the bulk of it, yeah. But he's also been toning down on the pranks, sticking to work a bit more. Have you seen any of that? Because………..He did it all for you."

"Wha…..huh…wait…woah… umm, where's this coming from. That can't be true Remus. Tell me it isn't"

"But it IS true Lils. If only you'd look twice at him. He's really changed for you ya know. It was all for you. He doesn't even really talk about you around Sirius and me anymore. It used to all be Lily this and Lily that. But now he's just silent most of the time. He really cares about you Lily, and it hurts him to think that you don't even know it. Please tell him that you know he cares instead of just brushing everything he says off without a second glance."

"Alright Remus. I'll try."

Later that day, Lily was sitting in the common room reading, when suddenly James appeared at the boy's staircase and came over to sit opposite her.

"Lily," he said, "why did you always say 'no?'"

She looked him straight in the eyes, "Because, James, you never seemed to really care. To me it looked like you just thought of me as a prize, and I'm not James. I'm not a prize. I can't be bought or sold. I'm a person, and you only ever seemed to think of me as just another girl. I'm not just another girl, James. I'm Lily, the one and only Lily Evans."

"I know that Lily, I always have, and I'll never forget it." He looked in her eyes as he said this, and it was then that she knew he was speaking the truth, and always had been. "Lily," he said softly, not breaking his gaze, "will you go out with me?"

That was the first time that Lily had ever felt the sincerity in his voice. Even though she knew what she would say, it still hurt to actually say it.

"I can't," she said gently with tears falling down her face, "If things were different. Oh James, I'm so despretly sorry."

With that, she fled from the room. When she got up to her dorm, she fell on her bed sobbing. She'd never known that he'd really cared. Even after what Remus had said, she hadn't really known until he'd looked her in the eyes and told her so. And now, when it really mattered most, her pride had ruined everything. Why did she have to be Lily Evans? The untouchable Lily Evans? Why?

When she fled the room, James just stood there looking after her for a while. The he turned and left. _At least she understands now. I know she does. It was in her eyes. There was a piece in there, longing to say 'yes,' but she's Lily, and that's just who Lily is. I'd never want her to change really. Perhaps there's a tiny bit of hope for me. I'll wait a while longer. Maybe she'll come 'round. _

_At least I know she knows…At least I know she knows…At least I know she knows._

**A/N ok, I wasn't AT ALL happy with that chapter, so I'll probably revise it at some point. It's better than it was, but it's still not great. Sorry if it's not up to standard:( I left it so I could keep it going, so I might do that, but I'm not sure. If you guys out there want me to, go head and let me know. P.S. PLEASE hit that little purply-blue button down there and REVIEW. Last time I got 94 hits, but only 3, count 'em 3 reviews! I can count to 3 on one hand, to count to 94, I'd need 20 people. Push the button and "Go ahead…..Make my day"**


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